


The Son I Never Was

by Gay_as_fuck



Series: Short Circuit Hearts (aka all electric type gym leaders are mentally ill) [2]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Depression, Gen, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-24 02:21:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8352520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gay_as_fuck/pseuds/Gay_as_fuck
Summary: Volkner has always been the strongest and the best. Losing yourself is easy, finding it again is hard.





	

Volkner understood that he was not the only one with problems. The concept was not hard to wrap his head around considering the fact that he had light up a whole city. Still he always felt alone. 

He doesn’t remember much the war, maybe because Sinnoh wasn’t a part of it. Sinnoh was on the side of Kanto but the war never came to its shores. He was young when the war ended. His only war related memory was seeing a battered soldier come home with a smile on his face.

His father was head of a ship building factory in Sunnyshore. Volkner grew up mostly alone, with such a busy father who was always out. He would wander the halls of the factory and feel small and unimportant. It was nice to be alone though, because when you are alone no one expects anything of you.

As a child he had watched as a young blond member of the pokemon league came along to pick the town’s gym leader. They picked his father and it was then that his home was no longer a factory but a Pokemon gym.

There was much less space in the gym and Volkner couldn’t be alone. Suddenly he was expected to both run the ship building company and the gym when he was older. He trained hard, studied harder, and didn’t give himself time to have fun or be happy.

The only spark of happiness in his life was his friend Flint. Flint had a burning desire to be something big, which was something Volkner didn’t have. Volkner felt the pressure to be something worthy of being the son of the Sunnyshore Gym leader, however he never really wanted that for himself.

Flint was stronger than him, even though they always tied he knew it. If Flint got knocked down he would get back up again, he had the potential to be great. But he had to leave Flint after highschool. He had chosen to go to an engineering college in Johto instead of somewhere closer. They had both cried the night Volkner left.

He did well in college, in fact he did spectacular. He was at the top of his class and heading a few research projects. His professeurs all gave him shining reviews and while his classmates regarded him as somewhat stuck up they all admitted that he is brilliant. Sure he cried or drunk himself to sleep at least twice a week. He had been doing well in all the ways that mattered. 

His father died during his last year at college. He cried, and hated himself because in the sadness there was relief. He didn’t cry for his father he cried for himself. The idea of having to live up to his father’s legacy was to much to bear.

When he got back to Sunnyshore Flint was waiting for him. Flint’s smile was blindingly bright but Volkner had know the excitable fire type trainer long enough to know when something was bothering them. Still, Volkner was to happy to see his friend to ask.

Flint told him a few days after he came back into town. His head hung low he relayed news he should be excited about.

“I got into the elite four” he started softly but couldn’t keep the excitement out of his voice. He was leaving Volkner but this had always been his dream and it had come true. 

“I know, usually only gym leaders can join but because i took over the gym for a little while before you came back that counts as experience! They said my performance was stunning!!” Volkner took peace in the fact that at least Flint didn’t mention his father. 

“That’s” Volkner started, unsure of what to say. He wanted to say that he was happy for his friend, because it’s not often dreams come true. In a selfish way he was angry as well, because Flint was his only friend doesn’t he understand that! If he leaves Volkner will have nothing.

In the end he gave a fake smile and said “That’s wonderful, i’m proud of you”. He hated himself the whole day afterwards. He should have been happy for his friend but he wasn’t, all he had been was angry.

After Flint left it was hard. He tried to keep up his work and motivation but just couldn’t after a while. One morning he woke up and he couldn’t get out of bed. He wanted to scream at his body to get up and stop being an asshole but it didn’t do anything.

He got out of bed the next morning only because if he didn’t he would have pissed himself. He gets a letter after a week of dragging himself out of bed to get to the couch and then from the couch to the bed.

It’s an official league letter asking him why he’s closed the gym. He throws it away because his answer would be so pathetic. He just doesn’t have the energy to exist, he’s in a slump and he can’t crawl his way out. 

His life of working through everything just stopped, as if he didn’t have any work left in him. He stayed a mess for a month, not even opening the gym once. 

One morning there was a ring at his doorbell and he had pulled himself out of bed because it was one of his good days.

That was how he first met Lt. Surge, half naked with a hunger pang frame and hair sticking up all over the place.

Volkner sighed and crossed his arms, confused by the military man and too tired to say something. All he wanted to do was waste away in bed.

“I’m Lt. Surge, I lead the electric type gym in Kanto. Vermilion to be more specific. The league sent me to check in on you since i’m on business here in Sunnyshore”.

Volkner was angry, he set his jaw and went to slam the door on Surge. However he stepped forward and blocked the door. The military man was built like a brick shit house and crossed his buff arms.

“I’d ask if you’re okay but you clearly aren’t so you’re gonna let me in.” Surge commended, staring down at Volkner. 

“No. Leave me alone, my life is none of the league's business or yours!” he hated how he sounded like an insolent teenager. However he couldn’t very well force the man out of his gym. Surge gave a small amused noise and took another step towards Volkner so he could loom even more over the half dressed man. 

“Let me in or I will make you”, It was a playful threat but Volkner only assumed the man would still carry it out. The last thing he wanted to do was let this strange man into his home. He stayed silent and hoped that the man would give up. Surge sighed and grabbed Volkner by the sides with a grunt. The confused Volkner was tossed over Surge’s shoulder and carried into his own house.

Surge set Volkner down on the couch and stood over the man with his arms crossed. Volkner resigned himself to whatever scolding he was going to get from Surge. The military man looked around the messy room and set his jaw. He moved to a kitchenette and with practiced efficiency pulled edible food from the stock pile of takeout containers.

“Now you’re going to eat something”, The lieutenant commanded as he stacked the food on a plate. “Then we’re gonna talk about why you’ve closed your gym.”

Volkner gave a huff as Surge strode over and set down the food. He took a chair across from the couch and assumed a position best described as a man spread. Volkner ate his cold takeout in silence as Lt. Surge watched as a sentry. It was odd for Volkner to have a total stranger caring, however oddly, for him.

“Now, why are you like this kid?” The older man asked, with a tinge of softness in his voice. Volkner looked up at Surge from stuffing his mouth with food. Most days he hadn’t had the motivation or energy to eat anything.

“I just” Volkner started after finishing his mouthful, “I just haven’t been able to”. His voice held some agitation to it though it seemed to be more aimed at himself than at Surge. Volkner was angry at himself, he couldn’t even explain why he was in such a poor state. Volkner expected Surge to snap at him for being so pathetic. 

“Kid, I know it’s hard but you need someone to help you take care of yourself because you clearly can’t”. The statement was surprisingly soft coming from such a tough looking man and startled Volkner. 

“I get it kid, believe me i’ve had my fair share of hard times and it’s hard to admit when you’re fucked up in the head.” He sighed, it seemed hard for him to admit that he was messed up.

Volker wanted to snap at Lt. Surge, what would that man know about his life. How could he understand how hard it is to wake up in the morning. But the soft tone the older man had taken seemed so honest Volkner couldn’t bring himself to snap. 

Instead he sighed, finished a bite of cold noodles, and made a decision to accept whatever help Lt. Surge hoped to provide.


End file.
